Possible reasons why relationships may change or end:
Loss of feelings
Affair
Abuse
Long distance
Work demands
Loss of trust
Different priorities
Cultural differences
Lack of time together
Jealously
Comparison of other couples
The relationships of focus are regular, intimate interactions between two people. This essay will analyse, that is to identify and discuss, the stages of these relationships changing or ending.
Knapp and Vangelistic’s Theory 1996:
Ten stages: Initiating
First meeting and brief interaction
First impression formed
Experimenting
Small talk, testing the other person and searching for common ground
Intensifying
Relationship becomes friendship
Personal disclosures become common, especially regarding feelings about the relationship
Integrating
The two lives become more connected and partners consider each other in making plans
Those outside the relationship become more aware of the couple
Use of ‘we’ becomes more frequent
Bonding
Some form of commitment is made, often ritualised, like engagement, marriage, cohabitation or friendship rituals
Differentiating
Differences become more obvious and partners desire independence
Some arguments may begin
More use of ‘I’ and ‘my’
Circumscribing
Partners avoid difficult topics in conversation as communication is restricted but public appearances are maintained
Stagnating
Further restrictions in conversations, partners ‘know’ what the other will say and prefer not to start talking
May stay together in order to avoid greater pain of break up
Avoiding
One or more partners choose to avoid contact through lateness of alternative commitments or direct expression of disinterest
Terminating
Physical distancing and disassociation as partners prepare to be individuals
Strengths:
Can be applied to other types of relationships, not just romantic ones.
-The model does not offer analysis of why partners move from one stage to another but does show how change tends to occur.
Weaknesses:
May be outdated.
No information on the research and where the information came form in order to construct the model.
Not supported by research – difficult to test the coming apart section with self-report due to social desirability
Relationships change through a pattern of stages, if a relationship stays together the changes are usually positive (more love, commitment and satisfaction). When the changes become negative, particularly in relation to satisfaction and communication, the relationship is likely to end.
This essay has revealed a common weakness in the theories and research, however, that they are often outdated and the changes to relationships due to the internet and internet dating and social media must now be explored to see if the conclusions are relevant to the world of relationships today.